loss for words...

my dearest,


i can't thank you enough for the time we've spent together. the last five months have helped me so much more than you'll ever know. i've never had anyone in my life care about me as much as you did. you were there when no one else was... i was abandoned, but you were there. you came to see me every day i was in the hospital. you were my strength when i had none. you were my light when dark clounds lingered over my head. you are the only person who has been able to calm my nerves. you are the only person who has made me feel beautiful. you are the only person who has accepted me for exactly who i am, flaws and all. we're so much alike, yet so different. i've been lucky enough to learn from you and grow. you've helped me find my path and direction. i was lost for so long. i see a future for me now. i must admit, i used to dream of my future with you. a family. love. joy.

i'm a naive gal when it comes to love. i always thought i have been in love before... nothing compares to what i feel when i'm with you. even just thinking of you. this is what it is to be in love, really in love. you have introduced hope, joy and true love into my life. i never thought i'd see the day that i would know love. unfortunately, it is something i will just have a sweet memory of. my love for you will never, ever have an ending. the beauty of your heart and love, being stripped away, has left my heart damaged. i understand. i respect you decision. i will always support you. it will be difficult to hold my head up. i do not want to know a life without your love. you're slowly slipping away. you're so far, i am unable to hold on. i wish nothing but happiness in your life. you deserve nothing short of the best. never settle for something less than you deserve. although you may seek the arms of another, no one will ever love you as much as i do. you have shown me a life that i've only envisioned in dreams. i will carry this image with me. it will be my hope. my false hope.

believe in yourself. look inside for your joy. it's there. you need to wipe the tears from your eyes and see clearly. you are all that you need. open your eyes. open your eyes.


i'm so torn. i don't know what to do. friends? friends. i don't know if i can stand seeing you and being forbidden to love you. i don't know... i'll never know...