you know the painful, scary, exhillerating, joyous feeling of being in the presence of true love?
you don't? really? well...
that's what I've found. for the very first time in my life, I have felt like I have finally found it... what dreams are made of, what movies are based on, what I thought I'd only ever be able to imagine. love that was so selfless and so pure. it wasn't forced or fake. it was real. I hate the term "soulmates," but now, I believe its true...
at the beginning...
from the moment we spent our first time together, I knew something was different. the smiles, the laughs, the sweet glances, the warm embrace as the evening ended, the anticipation of a first kiss that would happen at a later date ... all of these things immediately captured my heart from the start...
everything happened quickly, maybe that's what will cause it all to go wrong in the end, who knows...
I immediately felt like we were best friends, like we've known each other for many, many years. we could finish each other's sentences, feel so comfortable in the most intimate settings, laugh at each other's jokes when no one else thought things were funny...
everything seemed so perfect...
minus one huge detail...
he was (is) not ready for a relationship... and, of course, I completely understand his reasonings. I have no problem with him not wanting to be in a relationship...
but you just don't get it...
I've continuously informed him that I would wait a lifetime for the chance to be with him... and I meant it, still do. the thought of being able to love someone so much, to find joy in their smile, to find reasons for living in their eyes, to find comfort in their arms, to find peace in their words, to find true love in their kiss... all of these things I would die for... so waiting a lifetime doesn't seem so bad...
everything is confusing right now. things are going unsaid, the future is uncertain...
but right now, in the silence, even though there are tears in my eyes and pain in my heart... I am happy because I am near you.
I wish you could see what I see...
:)
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