30 Days - day eleven...

day eleven - a picture of something you hate



there is more than one, of course.

and these are more "fears" than something i "hate"...

although, i guess you could say i hate them too...

I HATE CARDBOARD!


AMPUTEES FREAK ME OUT!


and who really likes MIDGETS anyways?



shit, this post gave me a panic attack. ugh.

fond memories...

remember that one time?


i do.

laying in bed.

staying up too late.

music fills the room.

long talks. loud laughs.

you got up.

grabbed my had.

we slow danced.

to this song.





i won't ever forget that one time...

that one time i fell in love.

30 Days - day ten...

day ten - a picture of the person you do the most messed up things with

well this one is easy...

although it has been a while,

this one goes to miss chelsea applegate

we have been in some interesting situations together, ever since day one.

love this lady.

by chance...

I want the chance to make you smile forever.

I want the chance to show you love you've never received before.

I want the chance to kiss you goodnight.

And kiss your eyelids as you awake.

I want the chance to hold your hand when you're afraid.

I want the chance to hide cute, little notes in your pockets before work.

I want the chance to burn dinner when I try to cook for you.

I want the chance to see love in your eyes, and you see love in mine.

I want the chance to buy you medicine when you have a cold.

I want the chance to give you a massage after a long day of work.

I want the chance to make you laugh when I say awkward things or terrible jokes.

I want the chance to cuddle during movies.

I want the chance to buy too much candy with you.

And to eat oreo shakes every night.

I want the chance to stay up late with you and play video games.

I want the chance to tell you that I love you every chance I get.

I want the chance to do your laundry.

I want the chance to feel completely good about myself, flaws and all, around you.

I want the chance for you to feel the same.

I want the chance to make love to you and fall asleep in your embrace.

I want the chance to celebrate birthdays, holidays and stupid anniversaries with you.

I want the chance to have date nights with you.

And go bowling.

I want the chance to try and make you happy every single day.

In doing so, I will be happy.

I want the chance to be too loud in public and make others feel uncomfortable with you.


I want the chance to give you my heart and love you unconditionally...

Give me the chance...

30 Days - day nine...

day nine - a picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

this one is a tie...


chelsea applegate has been there for me ever since i have known here. even being states away, i know i can still count on her to be there for me when i need her.







josie santoro. i've known josie since i was seventeen. like chelsea, she's always been there for me, even when she doesn't live anywhere near me. she checks up on me to make sure i'm doing okay.




i feel very fortunate to have friends who love and care for me, even when they are nowhere near me. i am so grateful to have two of the best friends anyone could ask for.

30 Days - day eight...

day eight - a picture that makes you laugh


i was going to chose a picture of someone i knew, but holy cow, this picture makes me laugh every time i see it...

my sweethearts...

i love my nieces and nephew so much.

my brother, justin, and his wife, kim, went to houston over the weekend. i was asked to babysit yesterday since it was a holiday and didn't have work.


i took the kiddos to hollywood connection, which is this ghetto ass indoor fun park thing. it's in west valley, so of course it's wicked ghetto... the kids had a blast though. they went on rides, ran around, played miniature golf, and for dinner, we had pizza.


i'm seriously the best aunt ever.

me and my love, olivia



ellyannah is so beautiful



this picture is the best... zion in the back acting like a dinosaur (of course), gwenevere looking all sweet and pretty, and ellyannah looking like a bad ass (but kinda resembling a garbage pail kid... these kidlets are the greatest...

30 Days - day seven...

day seven - A picture of your most treasured item





when my dad went to the phillippines, he brought me back two dolphins made out of shells (above is what they sorta look like). i've held onto them since then (this was probably early '90s). they're probably my most treasured item.

30 Days - day six...

day six - a picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day





anderson cooper





i would love to switch spots with anderson cooper... just for one day. i love writing and journalism, so being able to do that for one of the largest news sources would be amazing. i love how liberal he is and that he isn't afraid to get out there and be on the front lines of history.

30 Days - day five...

day five - a picture of your favorite memory.



well this is completely unfair. i don't have a picture of my favorite memory.

however, my favorite memory of life is my dad, brett rockland applegate. he took his own life on january 9, 2002. i'll always have him in my heart and on my mind for the rest of my life. i miss him...

30 Days - day four

day four - a picture of a habit you wish you didn’t have

30 Days - day three

day three - a picture of the cast from your favorite show


it's always sunny in philadelphia




besides arrested development, i must say, always sunny is one of the best shows i have ever seen. i'm still catching up on the seasons, but the large amount that i have seen... genius.

30 Days - day two...

day two - a picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
.



meet jen shaffer.



jen has been in my life for almost ten years now. obviously, i've known my family longer... but anyways...
we've been in some trouble together. we've gotten help together. she's saved my life twice now. i owe her so much gratitude and i am more than happy to give it to her. i love her as if she were my own older, bad ass sister. i don't know what my life would be like if i wasn't fortunate enough to have someone care for me as much as her.

look to me...

30 Days - day one...

okay, so i'm stealing this idea from the beautiful stacey jean...

check out her amazing blog.

thirty days of pictures...

day one - take a picture of yourself with 15 facts




i don't really have a recent picture of myself...

so here's the fifteen facts:


1. i carry hand sanitizer wherever i go
2. i am terrified of cardboard
3. chick flicks and romantic comedies are huge guilty pleasures of mine
4. i'm obsessed with mountain dew
5. i love my nieces and nephew more than anyone else... ever
6. i was born and raised in southern california
7. i have fractured my right hand approximately five times (boxing hair-line fractures)
8. i am fluent in american sign language
9. i like to imagine that anything i do is an art form
10. i hate having bad breath
11. i recently found out i'm losing my hearing and wear hearing aids
12. i strongly believe in true love
13. i am constantly striving for perfection, mostly with a sense of being completely happy
14. i secretly wish i was more girly
15. i still miss my dad every day

so low...

Ten thousand times I will scream
Over and over until you notice me
Until my voice breaks
And all this heartache

Ten thousand times I will scream
Over and over until you notice me
Until my voice breaks
And all this heartache
Gently fades away

So where are the pictures, of you and me
Put them aside for no one else to see
Afraid of what they might say
Not if my heart breaks
Please stop hurt your yesterday

Is there something going on?
Isn’t something going on?
You said you want it to be the way it was before
Now something’s going on
Isn’t there something going on
No it’s not gonna be the way it was before

you know what today is?

it's valentine's day. woo hoo.

more importantly, it is my favorite dude's 5th birthday.

i love you, zion, more than anyone else in the world.


baby zion with his momma (my little sister, jodi)



he grows up so fast...



i'm not kidding, i love him more than anyone...



he's just the coolest...




he's my little man...



and definitely a hipster in the making (thanks to his dad, phil)



i can't get enough of this dude...



here's one of the most recent pictures...



ugh, he is too cute...

clutter...

so... i was looking for my hearing aid batteries in my huuuuge purse...

i pulled out everything, but was unable to find 'em.

however, i thought it'd be funny to show you guys what's in this huge bag...

3 - Chapsticks
3 - Lip glosses
4 - Lipsticks (all red)
2 - Hand lotions
4 - Hand sanitizers
1 - Febreeze to go
1 - Deoderant
1 - Pill box
1 - Bottle of Melatonin
2 - Hearing aid cases
1 - Bottle of Smart Water
1 - Set of ipod headphones
1 - Costume ring
1 - That Guy Gil button
1 - That Guy Gil sticker
1 - Blake's car keys

(this isn't including my wallet and phone)

i think i have some issues... i mean, four handsanitizers? whatever, at least i know i'm cleaner than all you fucks.

times past...

my brother found an old picture of my dad...


i love that my dad was a skateboarder...

and my step-dad is a professional skateboarder...

my family rules so hard...




my dad, brett rockland applegate...








and my step-dad, russ howell...

olivia regan applegate...

my little love, olivia, was rushed to the hospital last night..

fever, mild seizure, not breathing...

she's still in the hospital, possibly being released today...

they think it might be RSV, but not sure just yet...

i really hope my little love will be okay.




oh... and she just learned how to walk...

breath mint.

i cannot stop day dreaming about love.

i am so in love with the concept of being in love with someone...
for the rest of your life.
dedicating your heart to a single person because you kn you just have to.
you have to be around that person, if not, you feel as if you cannot breathe.
they provide an electric spark to light up your days...

pish posh...

i don't know what i'm talking about.

i just want kisses. forever.

i am the best...

un-girlfriend ever.

i should win an award for being so bad ass when it comes to this.

i'm so patient.

i'm so sweet.

i love every second of it.

maybe one day it will be different...




until then, i will smile in hopes of love being reciprocated.

sobriety looks good on me...

today, i am celebrating my 5th month of sobriety...

yes, jessica applegate has not had an alcoholic beverage or narcotic in five whole months...

shocking, i know.

i'm so glad to think with a clear mind...

i'm so glad i don't make an ass out of myself when i go out...

i'm so glad i don't put myself in dangerous situations...

i'm so glad that i'm so much better than you. ha.

goddamn it...

when i get scared about my life and what is happening...

i usually run away...
from the situation...
from the people...
from everything...

i want to disappear... for good. off the map. never to be heard from again...

what a weekend...

this past week/weekend has been amazing!

wednesday, february 2nd... comeback kid played at bricks.

i met andrew (the singer of comeback kid and also figure four) when i was maybe 14 or 15 years old. he's a great guy, and i love seeing him every time he comes through utah...



then... on friday, february 4th, blake and i went to see the get up kids... one of my favorite bands... the show was amazing...



saturday, february 5th, we went to see underoath and thursday (only playing the full collapse album)... there were a lot of douchers there, no suprise... and a small scuffle that may or may not have happened afterwards... either way, it was rad to see thursday play... it's been about 8 years since the last time i've seen them... ahhh memories...



and underoath didn't play any old stuff... i'm pretty sure some of the band members don't even know any of their old songs...



sunday, february 6th... superbowl. i don't know much about football and could care less about the packers winning... it was a blast hanging out with blake's parents and a couple of his brothers... that family rules so hard.

there's a sliiiight possibility that i will be going to see interpol tonight, but i'm not sure yet...




oh yeah, did i mention that every show was free? i have amazing friends who hook shit uuuup.

alright, that's it...

i'm going to start doing crafts... a lot of crafts...

i'm thinking of having a social get-together with some gals to do a new craft project every month...

i wonder who would join me...



it's time to get creative!

patience...

I wish you felt the same...



I don't want to picture my future without you...



I need patience...



I need more patience...

love, love, love...

it's no suprise that i'm a fan of love...



it's no suprise that i'm a fan of graffitti...



it's no suprise that i'm a fan of street art...



it's no suprise that those combined make me smile...



find love hidden in the streets...

listen up...

since valentine's day is around the corner...

here's a few cheesy love songs...

i'm sure i'll end up posting more...

if you don't like 'em, go fuck yourself.

(this one means a lot to me...)