donut falls...

since i'm currently going insane, my mother decided to take me hiking.

zion came along. we had the most fun together. i love that kid more than anything.

here's a few pictures from our hike to donut falls.

life recap...

so i've obviously been distracted lately...


here's a photo-overload of what's been going on...

we'll start with my birthday (may 28th)

blake is the most amazing person.



my entire birthday was a complete surprise.

every place we went, i was clueless.

first we met up with casey and some other dudes to watch the UEFA match at Piper Down.



lunch was delicious.



then, we started to head downtown... i had no idea what was coming.

we pulled up to Cathedral Tattoo . it goes without saying that i was excited.




blake got me a gift card so i can finally start my sleeve. we set up an appointment with Jake Miller. his artwork is fantastic. i'm so excited for july 15th.


by that time, we were both quite sleepy. we decided to head back to blake's to take a nap... however, we stopped at a park, where i got my next gift. he got me a baseball glove. i love it! we had a catch then went to take a nap.





after resting, there was yet another surprise. i was hoping that we would go to the ReAL match. he tricked me, said we were going elsewhere, but sure enough, he took me to the match. it was such a blast, minus the outrageous downpour that happened. we still had a blast.




okay, so it's 10pm, you'd think that the day is over... but no. we meet up with a few friends at leatherby's where i get a birthday sundae.





the day was perfect. i've never felt so special, and it's all thanks to blake. we got breakfast the next morning... it ruled.








fast forward a bit. i got the pleasure to see iron and wine. it was such an amazing show. such talent.




then then then... my nephew and i are best buds. i love him. zion is my favorite person.











hmm... besides the hospital visit.... i think that's it. blake's doing well. we hope there isn't surgery in his future... we'll find out soon enough.



thanks for hanging in there. this post is too long. fuck.

back to normal...

what a weekend!

blake was admitted to the hospital friday afternoon.

almost had to get emergency surgery on saturday.

he's doing so much better, they're actually discharging him today.

I am so happy he's alright. I've been at the hospital since he's been admitted.

I'm excited to go home and shower. things will return to how they were before.

back to a friend.

i hate brandi pahl...

she's a worthless piece of shit cunt.

i wish her nothing but the absolute worst. she deserves nothing less.

fuck you, brandi. i hope you choke on every lie you've ever told.

you are scum.


little delightful message to you, fucking whore:





there is nothing between us but oceans of bad blood.... fuck you.




i'll fall to my knees and pray for your death.

music: moving on...

going... going...

gone.

i'm giving up.
i'm giving in.
nothing good will happen in the end.

drowning in a sea of my own lies.
each breath stolen.
lies choked down like cheap whiskey.
burning as it is swallowed up.

you have forgotten my love.
you have forgotten my promises.
blinded by fear and foolishness.
you're giving up.

don't let go.
it will never come back.
don't let go.
please hold on tight.

this hurts too much.
everything is ruined.
open your eyes.
i'm not her.
i'm not her.
i'm not her.



time to give up.
time to give in.

i believe in you.

i can only love you from a distance.

a distance.

far enough to guard my heart.
far enough so you cannot hear me cry.
far enough where i cannot see your smile.

please don't forget me.
please don't forget my love.
please don't forget me.

you were all i've ever wanted.
you were always just a dream.
false hope surrounds me.
false hope. false hope.

lost cause...

no matter what i do.

or how hard i try.

it's still not what you want.


i'm confused.

i'm hurt.

i'm lost in the sea of my thoughts.


i don't know what to do.

i don't know what to say.

i'm trying my hardest to give up on you.

let go... breath in...

and out.


time to begin another chapter in my life. you're welcome to join me, but you've already put the book down...



here's to a fresh start.

here's to not making the same mistakes.

here's to falling in love with myself.

here's to crying less and laughing more.

here's to me. and you. and you too.

plastic bags...

after months of searching, i have decided to get an apartment with my co-worker...

i know, i know, living alone is most ideal, but sweet jesus, shit is expensiiiive!

we are getting a two bedroom, two bathroom apartment, approximately 1000 square feet... i'm so excited!






today, i decided that i would make a purchase...

i bought a dress. i got it from Beyond The Rack. I cannot WAIT to wear it!










oh, and why didn't anyone tell me that falling in love hurt so much? that would have been excellent advice...


just keep going.
just keep going.
just keep going.


i will not give up on my life.

sunday funday...

i had the most amazing weekend!

well, most amazing sunday. saturday, i layed in bed all day... i was okay with it.



but sunday!


my sister-in-law, two of her daughters and myself ventured downtown for Craft Sabbath. it made me wanna make crafts like crazy!



we hopped on trax to go to the mall, since the girls really wanted a train ride.
they loved it.



then we stopped for lunch at whole foods. i love ellyannah's space-cadet expressions.



thennn, it was earth jam. that's basically the earth day festival, which is basically hippie bullshit weirdos day. it was quite the people-watching extravaganza...
but still, the girls had a blast. it was really nice to get out with kim.



thennnn, blake and i decided to grab some candy and go see a movie. we went and saw the conspirator. i thought it was a great flick. it definitely kept me very entertained.



above all, i was smiling, laughing and thankful for every second of the day.

i'm in love with that feeling. i hope i find it more often.